Well done with a great first film project! A really great effort.
Overall Score: 15/20
- Logo needs bigger film studio initials / name - you can't read it. Visual aspect is great though! - starting with some sort of sound, whether it's sound effects or the soundtrack behind the logo is a great way to set the tone of your film and draw your audience in from the very beginning - First shot is a bit abrupt. Usually you'd have a fade from back to start your movie sequence or something that eases the audience into the film - great first shot, set-up well, nicely framed - Work on making your cuts/ transitions very purposeful because they can be distracting. Your cut between your first shot and Pheobe with the briefcase feels a bit clumsy. This could have been a fade to black and fade from back, or another transition that keeps the flow of those two scenes - titles flashing up on screen need some attention. They come up with different timing (some too short to read properly and some stay on the screen a bit longer. You want to standardise this. Make it part of your opening scene. Think about the font, the character size, the way the text will move on the screen and where it will be positioned. The disappearing text Is a nice touch though. - effective use of sound to complement on-screen action from the point of the gun being put in Phoebe's pocket to the swivel in the armchair and into the scene with the typing. - watch for continuity - you had a shot of Phoebe starting to walk and pulling her top over the gun when she had already pulled her top over the gun in the earlier scene - Match on action is great, well done - nice cuts between typing and walking to draw out that action there - 180' rule is broken, unfortunately. You cross that 180' line when you film Niav walking down the passage on the other side - great shot of passage - shadows and dark lighting works well - needs a point of change in pace / shifting gears at the point of realisation from characters before chase scene. The music just stays the same and this is a missed opportunity - chase scene needed to be a bit longer to be effective - Niav being helpful up at gunpoint was another missed opportunity for suspense. You could have really played around here with shot length to get maximum suspense out of that action. Great idea with the red hue and the shadow of the gun. just unfortunate that the red hue was used at the same place as the blood, so you couldn't see the blood. - Gunshot effect looks good, could have been a bit more subtle, so slightly smaller and there was no need for the effect on Niav when she got shot. There wouldn't usually be a light streak on the person getting shot. - interesting choice to keep the shooting part and afterwards in silence. - Music for credits works well - credits need some work to fit normal codes and conventions of a title sequence. They need to be bigger, easier to read and have more thought go into them for their relationship with the sound and overall theme of the movie genre
Hi Kevin
ReplyDeleteWell done with a great first film project! A really great effort.
Overall Score: 15/20
- Logo needs bigger film studio initials / name - you can't read it. Visual aspect is great though!
- starting with some sort of sound, whether it's sound effects or the soundtrack behind the logo is a great way to set the tone of your film and draw your audience in from the very beginning
- First shot is a bit abrupt. Usually you'd have a fade from back to start your movie
sequence or something that eases the audience into the film
- great first shot, set-up well, nicely framed
- Work on making your cuts/ transitions very purposeful because they can be distracting. Your cut between your first shot and Pheobe with the briefcase feels a bit clumsy. This could have been a fade to black and fade from back, or another transition that keeps the flow of those two scenes
- titles flashing up on screen need some attention. They come up with different timing (some too short to read properly and some stay on the screen a bit longer. You want to standardise this. Make it part of your opening scene. Think about the font, the character size, the way the text will move on the screen and where it will be positioned. The disappearing text Is a nice touch though.
- effective use of sound to complement on-screen action from the point of the gun being put in Phoebe's pocket to the swivel in the armchair and into the scene with the typing.
- watch for continuity - you had a shot of Phoebe starting to walk and pulling her top over the gun when she had already pulled her top over the gun in the earlier scene
- Match on action is great, well done
- nice cuts between typing and walking to draw out that action there
- 180' rule is broken, unfortunately. You cross that 180' line when you film Niav walking down the passage on the other side
- great shot of passage - shadows and dark lighting works well
- needs a point of change in pace / shifting gears at the point of realisation from characters before chase scene. The music just stays the same and this is a missed opportunity
- chase scene needed to be a bit longer to be effective
- Niav being helpful up at gunpoint was another missed opportunity for suspense. You could have really played around here with shot length to get maximum suspense out of that action.
Great idea with the red hue and the shadow of the gun. just unfortunate that the red hue was used at the same place as the blood, so you couldn't see the blood.
- Gunshot effect looks good, could have been a bit more subtle, so slightly smaller and there was no need for the effect on Niav when she got shot. There wouldn't usually be a light streak on the person getting shot.
- interesting choice to keep the shooting part and afterwards in silence.
- Music for credits works well
- credits need some work to fit normal codes and conventions of a title sequence. They need to be bigger, easier to read and have more thought go into them for their relationship with the sound and overall theme of the movie genre